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2015-01-19- Youtube-TX –G.Ray-Renegade Romance: Rapid Attraction Secrets for Dating Mating and Relating
Working Youtube Video Title – FREE NLP TRAINING – NLP Dating Techniques, Science of Attraction and The Secrets of The Sexes. Part 1
Transcript by G. Ray Glenn
David: I’m going to start on time. (WOW!!!)
My name is David Snyder,
Welcome to NLP Power / (slash) All things San Diego / (slash)NLP Today / / / (slash slash slash) whatever.
Tonight’s adventure into the art and science of love and romance, called “Renegade Romance: Hypnotic… er ….Rapid Attraction Secrets for Dating, Mating and Relating.”
If you hear me use that word “hypnotic” throughout the course of the night,… realize that it is not necessarily a mistake.
[0:30]
You see when we talk about “STATES”
…and we talk about things like
“LOVE.” And
“ATTRACTION.” And
“INTIMACY.”
“CONNECTION” and
“COMMITMENT.”
What we’re really talking about is “STATES.”
“STATES” have two primary components.
They have a level of “ABSORPTION.” in what’s going on. Or the object, the target of the state.
A CONTINUING NARROWING FOCUS OF ATTENTION.
Anybody here ever have somebody they were just gaga over?
[1:01]
Were you like really absorbed in all the different things you could think about doing with them?
Did you often find yourself daydreaming?
That’s called a trance. LOVE is a trance.
Now, as a hypnotist that’s a really interesting field of study for me.
Because those states that we don’t think of are states that we go through every single day, that we don’t think of as trances.
[1:33]
That run our lives.
The truth of the matter is…. that there is no such thing as hypnosis….. because there is no such….
Because EVERYTHING IS HYPNOSIS … All hypnosis is, ladies and gentlemen, is … a process.
A process that takes you from what ever state that you are in…. at this moment … to another one (state).
[1:59]
So the hot guy walking down the street walks by you … You’ve just been hypnotized.
When the hot chick, walks across your field of vision …. You’ve been booby-tized.
{laughter}
Sorry did I say that. {more laughter}
By the way. A couple of housekeeping things tonight. People will continue to funnel in.
I love this topic and probably more than any other topic that I’ve ever taught. I’ve been teaching this stuff for a long time.
And because of that I tend to get excited.
[2:30]
I tend to just keep going on and on and on, with all this information.
So sometimes one of these seminars can be like sipping…. From a fire hose! (in other words, you may get a lot more than you wanted.)
So I apologize in advance if right around 8:00 – 8:30 your ears start bleeding.
{expected laughter, didn’t get any}
You guys are taking yourselves way too seriously.
{Now he gets the laughter}
You should see you from my perspective.
Housekeeping…. First of all.
Several rules:
If you have to go to the bathroom …
Come on up, it’s alright…. you’re going to get good stuff, I promise.
[3:00]
If I forget to give you a break, or if you guys feel like you need one… like your bladders about to pick up and leave town.
Just raise your hand and say, “Can we have a break please?”
If not… just clean it up when your done.
{chuckles from the class}
If you need to go, just get up and go… it doesn’t bother me.
If you need a sudden dose of caffeination…. (there is) lots of coffee, and even more chocolate (in the back of the room.)
Trust me… if you can’t find love…. You CAN find chocolate.
[3:31]
They’re very very similar. We’ll get into that a little bit later.
But eat as much as you want…. Seriously. We’ve got tons …
And one of the things we do at NLP Power is, we’re all about practical stuff. Stuff that you come in… you learn it (tonight) and you can use it tomorrow.
And we’re also about change. Changing ourselves, so that become the kind of people who can be, do, and have the life you want, the way you want it.
[4:00]
One of the fastest ways that we can begin to change people… you can begin to change your mind …
change your body …
change every aspect of your life …
Is through a principle that your nervous system runs on called neuro-plasticity.
How many people here… who have NOT been to one of my workshops before …
because there is always a ringer going… “I know the answer. I know the answer.”
{raises his hand asking for a show of hands}
How many people here have ever heard the term neuro-plasticity?
OK, neuro-plasticity is a really long drawn out word,
[4:30]
That basically means, the speed at which your nervous system, and the cells in your brain, rewire themselves. How rapidly you learn. How deeply and how powerfully those neurons stick together.
There’s an old says that “neurons that fire together, wire together.”
And that’s mostly true. The problem is that as we get older, …. our neuro-plasticity, …according to some experts, … tends to decrease.
[5:00]
We tend to become more locked into our ways, into our ways of thinking.
However, through specific techniques and the modulation of specific substances, we can actually reactivate the brain’s and the nervous system’s ability to change.
The hormone, the substance in our body that actually causes that to happen is called OXYTOCIN.
Now some of you may have heard that word before. There is actually a company online selling necklaces with the OXYTOCIN molecule.
[5:33]
OK? The interesting thing about oxytocin is that it is the primary neurotransmitter that creates LOVE. Or the feelings of love in our bodies.
It is also the primary hormone, … when a mother is actually, … an expected mother is getting ready to give birth, … she begins to lactate.
Oxytocin is the mediator that creates that transformation.
It is the primary hormone that governs pair bonding.
[6:02]
Between a mother and child.
Between a man and a woman.
Between best friends.
It is the single biggest indicator of how much we trust someone. The more oxytocin you can trigger in a persons system, the more trust they will have for you.
But there is another side to oxytocin.
Oxytocin also has the unique ability to amplify neuroplasticity.
[6:30]
If you have enough doses, over a long enough period of time, … if you can imagine the nerves in your body… have you ever of chicken wire, do you guys know what chicken wire is?
Ok. If you don’t then just imagine some little chain link fence.
You’ve got this little chicken wire latticework that we call a brain, right?
And these nerves are firing and they’re crisscrossing and doing this, that, and the other thing.
In the presence of enough oxytocin, or love, passion, joy, laughter. The body starts pumping up that oxytocin taking a little blowtorch and just ….
[7:00]
{David mimes, heating up the lattice work of nerves so they can bend and carry new thought patterns}
Softening up all that wire. And then it becomes very easy to shape. It begins to take on the shape of whatever situation we find ourselves in. Right?
And then when it hardens it takes on a new shape. It has a new configuration.
Oxytocin, among all the neurotransmitters in our body, has the unique ability to take old behaviours, old habits, old beliefs, and over write them.
[7:30]
How many people have seen somebody fall in love and totally change their lifestyle?
{some people raise their hands}
Welcome to the wonderful world of neurologically induced trance. Or biochemically induced trance.
Right. Now my job here is to teach you… but also to change you.
I fully claim the right to use as many dirty, evil, nasty, honest, tricks as possible, to help you change, so that you become the person that you can have the life you want the way you want it.
[8:00]
One of those ways is that I’m going to do everything in my power to shock you. …. Delight you…. And saturate your system with oxytocin.
Now one of the most powerful, unstoppable ways to saturate your system with oxytocin, is give you hour after hour, of unrelenting orgasm. That’s not going to happen tonight.
{lots of laughter}
Another way to do that is to hug, be held for twenty minutes.
[8:30]
That’s logistically not really feasible at this time.
We could be laughing for twenty minutes. The more we laugh the more oxytocin released.
We will work on that one. {more chuckling}
OR…. We can eat lots and lots of chocolate. I can control that.
Right?
One of the problems that we have when we have a workshop like this especially, is that we’re all serious. We’re all taking ourselves too fucking seriously.
Which brings us back to house keeping.
[9:00]
A.) If politically incorrect language, or colorful metaphors, or swear words offend you,… there’s the fucking door.
{lots of laughter}
B.) This means “yes.” {nods head up and down} This means “no.” {shakes head side to side} There WILL be a test.
{more laughter}
C.) This means “I know the answer.” {holds up his hand}
D.) This means “I don’t.” {puts his hand down}
E.) This means “Oh shit I hope he doesn’t ask me that.”
If I do bring anybody up for a demo, {demonstration} Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. If you do agree to come up. It is assumed that we have your permission to have your lovely mug appear on youtube.
[9:33]
And get really good stuff programmed into you.
Anybody here want really good stuff programmed into them. {looks for raised hands for volunteers}
OK. We’re going to have a really fricking long night.
{more laughter}
Why are you here?
Why are you here?
Real quick?
You with the cool hat on. What are you here for? Not you, the other one. {whole class laughs} Two hats right in a row.
[10:01]
You Sir… What do you want to take home tonight? What do you want get out of tonight?
Student: Where to meet.
David: Where to meet? Look around you.
{class chuckles}
Student: Make better relationships.
David: Make better relationships. OK. So you’re interested in relationships and so you’ve already gone past the meeting and attracting part and are kind of in the relationship phase?
Student: No.
David: No? Ok. That’s an editorial question. I’m trying to get an idea. You see I have a ton of stuff. A ton and tons of stuff that I can throw at you. What I want to do is …
[10:30]
I want to make sure that the information I have to give you is targeted. I want to make sure that it is relevant to what you want.
So I’m just going to spot check people.
The lovely lady with the beautiful hat on who thought I was talking to her first.
Female student: I’m interested in your presentation style.
David: Oh. OK. Very cool. My presentation style.
Female Student: That was a pretty good example.
David: Cause I started the evening with … standing up here (on the stage) is weird for me.
[11:00]
Because for 3 or 4 years, this is where I stood. I fought going up there, cause I don’t like being disconnected.
I don’t like distance between me and my audience.
Right?
So throughout the night I’ll be like a little yo yo bouncing up and down and things like that. OK?
A couple more and then I’m going to jump into what I had planned and we’re see where that takes us.
You, young lady. What do you want to take home tonight? What do you want to get out of tonight?
Female student: {couldn’t hear a word she said}
David: (how to be) more open? Connect with another person? Cool! {Thank you David! For repeating them. 🙂 }
How about you sir?
[11:30]
Connect to people. Awesome! I have superglue….
{laughter}
How about you? You ditched me. You jumped out of the front row. What do you want to take home tonight?
Student: How to meet “Attractive Keith.”
David: How to meet “attractive Keith.”
I kind of put that in the blurb didn’t I?
Very cool.
Student: That’s what I’m here for!
David: Alright!
How many people here want to meet “ATTRACTIVE’ in caps. Raise your hand.
[12:00]
Mostly females. A couple of guys. Alright.
Guys are going, “Just feed me, rub my belly, I’m good.”
Ladies are going, “Put the fucking toilet seat down, damn it.”
{more laughter}
How about you? What do you want to get out of tonight?
Yes, I’m asking you.
“He’s talking to me???”
{more laughter}
Student: I’d like to ???? {couldn’t hear her}
David: OK. And when you say, relationships, I’m assuming they are not platonic?
[12:31]
Or are platonic?
Or D. All of the above.
Ok, notice that she said, “SOME ARE.”
I’m a Neuro Linguistic Programmer.
I know what your language means. {teasing}
I’m trained to sort for crap. Or not crap… but for …
{can’t continue because everyone is laughing including David}
Good… We’re laughing.
{Student says something}
David: Thank God! You see that’s the problem.
[12:58]
That’s one of the reasons why some of us are dramatically single.
Student: “Dramatically?”
David: Dramatically!
Guys, when it comes to attracting… remember that word.
“DRAMATIC”
OK? Women love emotional spikes. That’s why they date jerks.
{laughter}
Female Student: Probably.
David: Very true. It’s very true. When you go and …. Guys when you’re out there and you’re talking to a woman, and you’re telling her everything about yourself.
[13:31]
And you’re reading off the laundry list.
And she’s going (yawn) “That’s nice.”
And you’re telling her all about yourself, your job, where you’re going, and what’re you doing.
She’s going, “That’s nice.”
She’s nodding.
You think you’re having a great time. You’re getting more and more attracted to her by the minute.
She’s trying to figure out a way not to gnaw her arm off to get away from you.
Which is why by the end of the first date guys, you’re pretty attracted and she’s gone!
OK? We’re going to invert that formula. We’re going to teach both genders tonight how to be the most fascinating person in the room.
[14:02]
And when you figure out how easy that is….
It’s going to shock and disturb you.
Which is OK. Because shocking and disturbing is what I like to do. It keeps you on your toes.
One of the reasons you will hear me swear and use profanity tonight is because …
Student: It will shock and disturb you.
{laughter}
David: It will shock and disturb you.
But why is it useful in terms of “presenting?”
[14:29]
It’s because I am NOT talking to that part of your brain… that thinks.
I’m talking to that part of your brain that feels and acts. Called your Paleocortex, … or your reptile brain.
You have three brains. You know this, right?
OK.
The mating drives come from the reptile brain.
Which is why when you’re out on a date, and you read off the laundry list, and pull out the slide rule and the spread sheet that gives all of the logical reasons why we’re a great person, … they run!
[15:00]
Because the part of you that gets attracted, … is your reptile. Your Paleocortex.
{writes this on the white board and circles it, and then draws the brain stem down the right side.}
White Board
==========================================
(PALEOCORTEX) | | <== Your Reptile brain
| |
| |
| |
| |
{brain stem}
{& spinal cord}
===========================================
{ Paleo cortex = older or ancient layer, prehistoric }
OK. There’s your brain stem. There’s your Paleocortex. Now once the Paleocortex gets stimulated it does something cool.
It talks to the next level of your brain. The Limbic System.
{draws a bigger circle around the first circle and writes Limbic System in it.}
White Board
==========================================
(LIMBIC SYSTEM) <== Emotional Brain
(PALEOCORTEX) | | <== Your Reptile brain
| |
| |
| |
| |
{brain stem}
{& spinal cord}
===========================================
Now the messages are traveling in both directions.
[15:29]
Going into the Limbic System, which is your emotional brain, but is also traveling down the spinal cord.
The messages and the impulses are going South, ladies and gentlemen.
And when the meat gets excited…. Logic goes out the window.
There is a book that has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with the reptile brain called ironically, “Reptile.” It is a book written by lawyers, for lawyers, that teaches attorneys….
[16:00]
Specifically personal injury attorneys, how to present to judges and juries, in a way that stimulates the reptile brain.
And they’re winning Billions of dollars in judgements, because of it.
It’s a bunch of money hungry …. Not money hungry, sorry I shouldn’t say that.
It’s a bunch of highly paid influence professionals that are tapping into the reptile.
Why not you?
It’s the same target for a different direction.
[16:30]
The reptile brain, your Paleocortex, is what the Soviet Sports Psychologists thought, is in charge of:
{writes this on the white board}
White Board
==========================================
(LIMBIC SYSTEM) <== Emotional Brain
(PALEOCORTEX) | | <== Reptile Brain
| | Survival
| | Reproduction
| | Food
| |
{brain stem}
{& spinal cord}
===========================================
{middle section or layer}
Survival (fight or flight)
Reproduction
Food
And anything that meets these two. These first two are the two prime directives. OK?
But it is also your reptile brain that will cause you to do the most weird things to avoid being rejected, …or kicked out of the group.
[17:00]
You see because the reptile brain is in charge of “fight or flight.”
It starts to sort the world differently. And we’ll talk about social status later on this evening.
But one of the things you need to understand is, … to the reptile brain, …. Which is only concerned with surviving, … that’s the guys. And moving the genes forward.
Actually I’m sorry. Surviving is the women.
[17:30]
Moving the genes forward is the men. Because your genes don’t go to heaven. The genes stay here.
Now the interesting thing that happens is, adaptively speaking, evolutionally speaking, …. Rejection or ostracization from the group,… is the equivalent to extinction, at the reptilian level.
{no mating, so no forwarding of the genes.}
So one of the things that we are both, men and women, are trained, ….
[18:00]
Programmed, hardwired at the neurological level to sort for, is social status.
Men seek it, to gain it… Women seek to ally with it.
Ok. So as cultures differ. Social status have different parameters.
When we were evolving, and we crawled out of the ocean, it was the biggest and the strongest… not necessarily the nicest.
It was the biggest, the strongest, the one with the access to the most resources…
[18:30]
That had the highest survival potential.
{circles survival on the white board}
Over millions of years of evolution, ladies your neurology was trained to sort … for that. {survival}
Over the eons, subtleties evolved that let you know when someone had high survival potential.
Most people would not think that a sense of humor as being an indicator of high survival potential. We’ve evolved.
[19:00]
Right? But here’s how. You see the sense of humor , not so much. But intelligence … AAhhh … the more intelligent the creature,… the more likely it is to survive.
Well guess what? A sense of humor is a direct indicator of intelligence. And so when you go to see these standup comedians …. who are just a little below rock stars, in terms of getting laid.
{the ladies laugh}
[19:30]
It’s the oxytocin. It’s the laughter. It’s the release.
I haven’t met a dumb comedian yet. I’ve met some who played dumb.
I keep thinking of Emo Williams. Er… Emo Philips. You guys know who Emo Philips is?
{ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dz7LOgVEso&list=PLgyflOvCSz5CpWJqGjFW6cGk0Eng4ktoA }
He was big back in… most of you guys are too young to remember that shit.
But he was this comedian back in the 80’s and he come in with this long coat and he had this really long hair and looked like an emaciated Tiny Tim from the 70’s.
[19:59]
“Tip toe thru the tulips…” {does his “Tiny Tim” impersonation.}
Alright, that one fell flat. {nobody laughed}
{now he gets a laugh}
But (Emo Philips) would come up and he would say….
“You know… I used to think that the brain was the most fascinating organ in the body”….
And then I thought… look who’s telling me that. {duh}
{laughter}
The part of your brain that does that is the NEOCORTEX.
{on the white board, David draws a bigger circle around the Limbic System and he writes “Neocortex” }
White Board
==========================================
(NEOCORTEX) <== Rational Lieing Brain
(LIMBIC SYSTEM) <== Emotional Brain
(PALEOCORTEX) | | <== Reptile Brain
| | Survival
| | Reproduction
| | Food
| |
| |
{brain stem}
{& spinal cord}
===========================================
The NEOCORTEX, literally new layer, is your rational lieing brain.
When I say it lies, I don’t mean it just lies to the people around you. I mean it lies to YOU. Your brain lies to you.
OK. I’m a hypnotist and a hypnotherapist. I’ll give you my pedigree in just a minute.
Or as my daughter likes to call it… my laundry list of over achievements.
One of the things that happens is, … I’m a hypnotist and people come in and tell me what their problem is, they tell me what they want to achieve.
We lift, … we open the hood. We go back to deal with the problem and we wind up fixing something completely different that what came out of their mouth ten minutes earlier.
[21:05]
Why?
Because anything that stimulates the reptile brain, … is either going to be pleasure generating, or pleasure seeking, or it’s going to be pain… away from. (avoiding pain in some way)
When a pearl is formed. When we see a pearl necklace or we see pearl jewelry. And we say, “That’s such a beautiful pearl.”
You know HOW we get pearls? From a pissed off oyster.
[21:30]
Right? A little grain of sand
{draws a picture on the white board of an oyster and a grain of sand in it. Explaining how pearls are formed.}
We got the oyster here. I’m a horrible artist. We got a little irritant. A little piece of sand is pissing off the oyster. It’s irritating them.
So what does the oyster do. He coats it with some weird substance. And he keeps on coating it. And it gets smoother and shinier (coat after coat) until eventually we’ve got this beautiful pearl.
It started off as something that was irritating something else.
Your brain works very very similar.
OK?
Remember that we’re talking about the reptile brain.
[22:00]
And it’s going to be relevant as we go through tonight.
Everything that your brain sorts for is either going to be moving towards pleasure, or away from pain. The system is a little bit hard wired towards pain though. Pain is more adaptive.
OK. Which tends to get us moving more.
So what happens is, let’s say we see a hot woman, a hot guy, and we want to meet that person. But we can’t just walk up to them and say, “Hey would you like to mate?”
{laughter}
[22:30]
Yeah it screwed me up for decades…. Made me wake up in really weird places too.
So what happens there is, we have a primal drive, that wants to be satisfied.
Right? Now. Understand that I’m going to bounce back and forth between feelings … or emotions rather… and feelings.
Your primal drives are feelings, but they are NOT emotions.
They are drives. They are things that are the foundation of….
[23:01]
You’re an animal.
Ok.
I’m sorry.
Get over it.
Ladies, you’re an animal too.
Embrace your inner lizard. {laughter}
But what happens is, … we get, … our reptile brain gets stimulated. We meet something that meets our criteria to enhance our survival, or reproductive potential. What have you.
The reptile brain generates a series of emotions. It sends a message to your emotional brain.
Now, prior to the advent of “civilization.” Beating somebody over the head who had a woman that you wanted…. Was OK.
We have laws now. We have social and cultural rules that have to be followed. Etiquette that has to be followed. And we have to, at the very least, give the appearance of following them.
Or what does society do to us?
“You… out of the gene pool.”
[24:00]
Right? Cast us out. Locks us behind bars. Does weird things to us.
So the emotional brain wants something. A feeling of love, attraction, whatever. Really it’s that mating urge.
It sends a message up to the Neocortex and says, “Hey, we got some itches down here that need scratching. Figure it out!”
And the interesting part about your Neocortex, … it’s the part of you that thinks in words it’s that part,
[24:29]
Of you that really focuses on facts, data, … the boring stuff. But what the neocortex will in fact do is, it will begin to generate a story.
It will begin to tweak how you pay attention to your world around you. So that you will begin to form a rationale that allows you to justify acting on those thoughts and emotions.
In a way that is A) acceptable to you.
[25:00]
And B) acceptable to the cultural group that you are a part of. And that’s where the rubber meets …(the road) where things start to get messed up a little bit because there is a BIG gap in our education.
There’s a big gap in how to actually go up and talk to somebody and generate attraction.
OK. Both genders are on the short end of the stick, it’s just a slightly weirder stick.
OK? But this is the interesting part. I’m going to wax into my “Dark Snyder” days before I get into my pedigree.
[25:30]
Most of you don’t know… well some of you do… back in 2004 – 2005, I launched my first information product. It was called, “Secret Orgasm Tips.”
It was a system that I had developed … for me … that taught men, how to pay attention to a woman in such a way that he could literally become her ideal fantasy lover … the very first night that they’re together.
[26:00]
OK? It was massively unfair. It worked like a charm. I didn’t make it for you guys. I did it for me.
Right? Cause I’m a big problem solver for my life.
Why is that important?
Because everyone of you is carrying around a checklist. You have a checklist for everything you do in your life.
Ladies, pay attention.
Gentlemen, watch the ladies. Cause I’m going to pick on you in a minute.
Ladies, if you met a man, who said exactly the right thing, in exactly the way you’ve always fantasized about it, who could touch you in all the places you always wanted to be touched, in exactly the way you wanted to be touched, only when you wanted to be touched.
Who could kiss you in a way that sent shivers up and down your spine, in the way you’ve always fantasized about the way the perfect kiss should be?
[26:59]
If you could meet a guy who could make love to you in the way that you’ve always imagined.
What would you do for that guy?
Gentlemen, look around you … {laughter}
OK? That’s the checklist. Each and every woman is unique. But not that much.
What do I mean by that? You all have a nervous system. You are all human beings with a pulse. But you all use it a little bit different.
Right?
[27:29]
If I look at the apps (applications) on your iPhones. I’m pretty sure some of you would have some apps. Some of you would have other apps. Some of you wouldn’t have any apps.
We put those (people) in a different room. {laughter}
My point is though… each and every one of you have what we call “CRITERIA” and “VALUES.”
“CRITERION VALUES” is a Neurolinguistic term. That is an emotion, connected to an label, connected to a series of phenomena or attributes.
[28:00]
The checklist.
So when we talk about someone experiencing LOVE, CONNECTION, INTIMACY, AROUSAL, PLEASURE, FULFILLMENT.
Those are what NLP likes to call “nominalizations.”
It is a word or label, that has been taken from a process linguistically into a noun. In other words when we say fulfillment, there is a process underlying about how we become fulfilled.
And how we know that the situation, that we are in, is fulfilling or not.
[28:31]
Does that make sense?
{nods head up and down}
This means yes
{shakes head side to side}
This means no.
Each and every one of you, man or woman, no exception, no exception, has a set of criterion value for every single thing you do in your life.
Everything you do in your life either matches that criterion checklist, or it doesn’t.
People can NOT go against those criteria and values without experiencing emotional pain.
[29:01]
OK? Are you with me so far?
Here is the problem. Or one of them anyway. We all move through the world thinking we all have the same checklist.
So the guy moves through the world, meets the girl who finally consents to go out with him, does everything he would do if he wanted to get excited, … to her.
Or, he does what the culture has programmed him to do.
[29:31]
Most of which, does work either.
You see that checklist, governs our lives. It governs how we perceive things. It governs behaviours that we take.
On a functional level, I’m going to give you the real simple rule, and then we’re going to build on it.
I want you to utilize this as a way to kind of see the matrix.
WE INSTINCTIVELY DO UNTO EVERYONE AROUND US
THE WAY WE WANT TO BE DONE UNTO.
[30:00]
What is your name sir?
Student: Ross.
David: Ross. If I go up and shake Ross’s hand, right? There is a certain way he just shook my hand.
IF I understand how to pay attention to Ross in a whole new way and I shake his hand….that felt better than just a moment ago. Because that is how he shook my hand.
Ross: You hand is cold.
David: My hands are cold, yes.
{laughter}
Sorry.
Our nervous systems are always on the look out for us.
[30:31]
We’re moving thru the world looking for a match. Between my checklist and your checklist. Your checklist and my checklist.
That’s how we go. And we make everybody wrong when we don’t match.
It happens completely outside of conscious awareness.
It was programmed into you without your consent. Without your understanding or without your knowledge.
Now! IF you can get outside of your own head and put your own drives a little lower on the totem pole …
[31:00]
For a few moments and pay attention to the person in front of you, properly.
They will give you, all of the information, that you need to know, to meet their criteria.
(you will)
Generate attraction, link it to you, and take them to places they’ve only ever fantasized about.
Because it’s already there. But they are not going to tell it to you, consciously.
OK? What do I mean by that?
A woman will touch you, how and where she wants to be touched, when she wants to be touched.
She will kiss you, unconsciously, exactly the way she wants to be kissed. When she wants to be kissed.
When you kiss a girl, or a woman…. I know ladies you want to be women, but it’s more fun to be girls though….
{David dances and sings like Cyndi Lauper}
Girls just want to have fun
NO? Shit! The sticks coming back.
{the class needs to lighten up}
{laughter}
[32:00]
We’re going to get back to the whole playfulness thing. Because if you don’t understand that, everytime you put your dating profile up on match dot com or funniest fish, you’re lieing to everybody.
Which is why you’ll never find the guys you want.
Guys, when you’re with a woman…. And ladies, it works just the same, you’re just better at it than men. So they need more help.
It’s true! We’re dumb as rocks. Trust me, I’m one of them.
[32:30]
But IF you can pay attention to the person that you’re with….
Long enough to do back to them …
What they’ve just done with you …
In the precise order and sequence that they do it (to you) …
You will perfectly match, their internal checklist.
Look at it… the ladies are already going
{David nods yes like bobble head dolls}
{laughter}
Like Bobble head dolls back there.
[33:00]
Right?
You will imagine…
you will match their internal checklist.
The barriers to intimacy will drop.
They will become hyper aroused.
Hyper connected (to you) and
hyper predisposed to being intimate with you.
IN AS LITTLE AS TWENTY MINUTES.
Now I said, “In as little” if you rush it, we don’t do that. OK?
But what I do mean is, … when we talk about these methods
[33:31]
Or these techniques.
Or these principles.
We are NOT doing anything unethical.
We are not doing anything deceptive or misleading.
In fact… guys the kind of connection that you’ll be generating with your women, is the exact kind of connection that they have been fantasizing about all their lives.
If you are in a relationship, if you take this material back to your relationship and you start applying it….
[34:01]
Your relationship will dramatically change. But you got to be willing to do something different.
The first rule in David’s World… is “pay attention!”
You need to pay attention to women, the way women pay attention to you.
Any guy here ever have a girlfriend?
{ask for a show of hands}
I have a wife so that kind of goes a little bit deeper.
Guys, have you ever noticed that your girlfriend remembers
every-fucking-thing that ever happened to you?
[34:32]
{laughter}
You tell them a story of what happened when you were two and they remember it better than you do.
{laughter}
You can’t remember when you told it to them.
But they can recite it back to you verbatim!
{laughter}
Why?
Because they are paying attention.
I have a wife, who’s brilliant. Like really brilliant. She had a PHD in biochemistry, before she went to chiropractic school.
[35:00]
And then she started studying Acupuncture while she was at Chiropractic school. She was the valedictorian in both, simultaneously.
I have no idea…. The only reason I go married to this woman was A) I’m really suggestible.
{laughter}
And she’s a better hypnotist than I am.
She’s an amazing woman. She truly is. I mean she went and did her acupuncture exam in Chinese medicine out in Sacramento .…
[35:30]
It’s a two hundred question exam and they are NOT easy questions. She came back and recalled verbatim eighty of them.
And gave them to the school so they could study for the exam.
NOT a stupid woman.
OK? And trust me.. She has a memory. I’ve seen super-computers that didn’t have this kind of memory. OK?
And she remembers stuff… And women will. They will because … first of all the neuro chemicals in their brains work a little differently.
[36:02]
They have more Oxytocin going on than we do most of the time.
OK? Remember Oxytocin… memory…. Learning… Right?
Ladies… you want to keep a man around?
Match his criteria,
match his values, and
then have a little bit of doubt as to whether he is going to hang around.
And they will move heaven and earth to make sure you’re happy.
What do I mean by that?
Now I keep talking about this whole thing called “criterion values.”
But there is another way we can begin to talk about keeping somebody, attracting somebody and all points in between.
[36:36]
Identity…Which is where all our problems start. You see the building blocks of your identity, your self concept, are your “Criterion Values.”
They are the checklist that determines what you want, how you know you’re getting it, and whether you’re deserve it or not.
Alright? When we’re going to introduce you … I’m going to start with what I call “THE SEVEN STAGES.”
[36:58]
Because normally when I do these workshops, whether it’s “Flirting for fun and profit” … which is all about flirting and being playful and cool stuff.
Which is where we need to start. OK? We need to get the sticks out of our butts. And have some fricking fun. OK?
Because I guarantee you… if you can’t be playful, if you can’t have fun, you’re NOT going to attract people.
OK. You can pump iron all day long. You can kick heavy bags and you can punch stuff and be macho.
Macho…strong like bull.
{laughter}
[37:31]
But if at the end of the day, the person that you’re seeking to attract, is not experiencing FUN. {you fail}
“I met this guy today. He seemed interesting.”
{the women are laughing}
“You’d make a great friend.” {louder laughter}
“DONG!” Kiss of death right? {more laughter}
My point is that we have to get that … we’ve got to start being playful. We have to get out of this…”Oh my god they’re going to reject me.”
[38:01]
We’ve got to stop playing this crap in our heads. We’ve got to have fun!
Right? I’ll show you how to have fun, really quick.
{David sticks his tongue out at the class…. No response.}
Everybody stand up.
Now, look around you.
Pay attention to anyone who has a pulse.
Reach out your hand.
[38:30]
Hold them by the hand.
Whether my hands are cold or not it doesn’t matter.
Look them in the eye and go…. BBLLLOOOOOO
{everybody is laughing}
Good! Look at somebody immediately to your right or left and reach out your hand and go BBLLLOOOOOO
And keep doing it until you feel more than silly. Very nice.
Good now… Good … Now eat lots of chocolate.
Why do I do that?
Because A) to prove that I can in fact make people do things against their will.
[39:00]
But also… we NEED to get our bodies involved.
If you want to be able to tap into those feelings of playfulness, those feelings of confidence, that ability to just walk up to somebody and be able to introduce yourself, you need to get your meat suit under control.
OK. There is a great “TED TALK.” It’s called “Power Poses.” by Amy Cutty. Go and watch it.
Yes… we have some survivors. {pointing to some students who have seen it.}
[39:29]
Right? Your physiology, your posture, your breathing rate, … affects your psycho-emotional state. OK?
IF … how many people here have ever had a really good time? Raise your hand.
Cool! Alright, we’re getting there. I want you to close your eyes.
That means close your eyes motherfuckers.
{laughter}
You can always tell who’s not going to get anything out of the workshop. Because I say “Do this” and they go, … {defensive body posture and stare at David challenging him}
{Everybody laughs}
It’s a participatory workshop. If you don’t do the drills, I can’t give you the skills.
[40:01]
Ok… The secret to being attractive … is NOT how you dress.
The secret to being attractive is the feelings that you install and that you create in other people.
The fastest way to transfer into another human being is to have the feeling yourself.
The fastest way to have any feeling you want, is to change the way your body is positioned.
[40:34]
Your psycho emotional state is directly connected to your physiology.
Your posture.
Your breathing rate.
Your weight placement.
OK?
In a few minutes I’ll show you the difference between symmetry and asymmetry, and you’ll be laughing your ass off. And you won’t know why.
OK?
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in….
{as you exhale}
Aahhh
Think of a time in your life when you felt amazing.
[41:00]
When you felt large… and in charge! Maybe it was something you saw and you decided you wanted it and you decided you were getting it, no matter what. You put a plan into operation. You put the plan into action. And you nailed it.
Here’s what I want you to do.
Two things.
First of all point to the where in your body that you have that feeling. Just physically point to it.
Good. With your other hand reach out and touch the picture floating in the space around you, connected to that feeling.
Take both of your hands and trace the edges of it.
Grab the edges of it.
[41:31]
Open it like an app on your iPhone. Make it as big as an IMAX movie screen.
Notice what happens to the feeling in your body.
Some of you are going, “Oh my god!”
Some of you are going, “I think he is full of shit.”
{laughter}
Now here’s what I want you to do. Shrink it down to the size of a postage stamp. What happened to the feeling?
Don’t tell me, just answer to yourself.
Now open it up to it’s normal size and pull it closer to your body.
What happened to the feeling?
[42:00]
I’m betting it got stronger for most of you.
Put it back to where it was.
Lift it up over your head.
Expand it to the size of a really big beach towel.
Pull it down around you like a blanket.
Notice what happens to the feeling.
What happened?
She’s like … {shaking with excitement, like a kid on Christmas morning}
It got good didn’t it.
Take it up, hold it up over your head just for grins and giggles.
Imagine that you can just throw it back behind you over the horizon. For those people in the back row, you’re going to get clobbered.
{laughter}
What happened to the feeling?
GONE!
[42:30]
How the hell did I know that?
Because I understand how your nervous system codes experience.
Reach back, grab that image, pull it out in front of you.
Now here’s what I want you to do.
Make it as big as you can stand.
Bring it as close to your body as you want to feel good.
And leave it there.
{lots of continuous laughter during this time}
Damn! We got a lycan in the room. Woo hoo.
Alright. Now while you’re immersed in that feeling.
[43:00]
Step into it. Physically, mentally, or emotionally, step into it.
See what you saw.
Hear what you heard.
Feel what you felt.
Stand…. You too puppy…. Stand the way you were standing.
Breath the way you were breathing.
NOW… without changing anything.
NOT how you breath.
NOT how you stand.
NOT where your weight is placed.
Without changing anything physically.
[43:30]
Try to feel bad.
Notice that you can’t do it.
Now go back to feeling good… and double it.
That’s where we start.
Now I want you to remember a time in your life, when you were absolutely hedonistic.
Pleasure seeking.
You didn’t give a rat’s patootie (rats butt) about anything.
You were just having a good time. You didn’t care about tomorrow.
Point to where you feel that.
[44:01]
Cool. Some of you guys are getting weird over there. {laughter}
Reach out and touch the picture.
Trace it with both of your hands.
EXPAND IT! Woo Hoo!
Sorry about that. We’re going to break some glasses in the next room.
Notice how good that feels. Move it out and make it as big as an IMAX movie screen.
Bring it close to your body. Wrap it around you.
[44:30]
How’s that feel?
Now step into it.
See what you saw.
Hear what you heard.
Feel what you felt.
Let those feelings come flooding back.
Stand the way you were standing.
Breath the way you were breathing.
And let yourself just feel the good.
Some of you may feel yourself yawning. That’s because your emotions are changing and releasing.
That’s OK. Let it. That wasn’t a suggestion by the way.
[45:00]
BUT… this is how quickly, we can feel good. On demand.
You want to change your brain? Learn how to feel good for no fucking reason. This is how you do it.
Change your posture.
Change the size and shape of the picture.
Change your relationship with them.
The fastest way to become attractive to another human being is to give them the feelings they want.
[45:30]
The fastest way to give them the feelings they want is to generate them in yourself first.
OK? Want to be more charismatic?
How many people know who Marilyn Monroe was?
Or Bill Clinton.
{laughter}
Ok, Have a seat.
Take those good feelings with you. Be playful with them.
This is where you start. This is the way you start. You don’t leave the house, in the morning, from now on, until you put on your playful underwear.
And I won’t ask what kind of under roo’s you have on..oh shit!
{under roo’s are children’s underwear with cartoon characters on them}
[46:02]
Right? My point is … there are states in our lives that we call end states that are things we feel after we’ve accomplished something.
Like happy. People say, “I just want to be happy.” If all you want to do is be happy, you might be happy sitting on the couch eating Hagen Daz. (ice cream)
What does that do for your life?
But there are states that lead to happiness, that get shit done.
The first one I teach in my class is “Playful”
[46:30]
You got to be playful.
OK?
Guys, how many here have ever done any kind of internet dating.
Raise your hand. The rest of you are lieing.
{laughter, mostly from the ladies}
Ladies, How many of you have ever done any internet dating?
{more hands raised than before}
Lets see if this matches any of your experiences.
You go to somebodies internet profile and they say,
“I want somebody who is:
Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.”
{This is the Boy Scout Law. Recited at all Boy Scout meetings.}
You send them to the Boy Scouts of America page right?
{laughter}
[47:00]
Or a woman who says, I want a guy who is a self starter, fit, good job, good cook, has read Nietzsche and likes it. Ugh… {he can’t come up with any more}
Female student: WHO?
{Franz Wilhelm Nietzsche, German philosopher}
David: Exactly. {laughing} And he must love dogs.
Right? And you look at that picture… and you look at that hot profile picture and it is usually five or six years out of date.
Female Student: HA! There you go.
{laughter}
David: And I’m being generous.
And you send her an email and you say, “Hey… I’m
Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. And I love dogs.”
[47:30]
“Let’s get together.”
She goes…. “Next.”
Was it because of your picture? Maybe.
But let’s say you got past the first filter. Here’s the problem. You just sent her the exact same email, every motherfucker on the planet, for the last six months, has been sending her.
So you’re just like everybody else. Guess what. Women don’t want everybody else.
What are they trained to sort for?
[48:00]
What are they trained to sort for? Guys?
Student: Status… Survival.
David: Status, … Survival. Ok. Social status.
Are people with a good sense of humor usually higher on this social status agenda? Or Lower?
Whole class: Higher.
David: Are they usually more intelligent or dumber?
Class: Smarter.
David: OK. Now, remember, you may be the twentieth email she’s opened that day. She’s got no attention span whatsoever.
OK? So unless you’re the next Brad Pitt.
[48:30]
And you’re wearing a thong… {the ladies are all giggling}
Probably not going to do much.
Right? BUT… if the first thing she reads makes her laugh, … makes her smile. .. Guess what she is likely to do with that email? She might actually read it.
Because you’re interesting!
When you read a woman’s profile. And largely guys are sorting differently so we’re going to get a little gender specific.
[49:00]
When you read a woman’s profile and you read that laundry list of trustworthy, who’s honest, loves kids, doesn’t mind a dog.
She’s lieing to you.
That’s not the real list. Because she left one off.
FUN!
None of those things matter until the woman experiences FUN with YOU.
Ladies…. TRUE…or … NOT TRUE?
Ladies: TRUE!
David: Thank you.
{the ladies laugh}
[49:30]
{Elvis Presley} “Thank you very much, thank you.”
Anyway…. Elvis was one of my idols. So at some point I may lapse into a very bad Elvis impersonation.
{Too late} {see 49:34} {LOL}
{laughter}
I got the belly for it.
So remember, playful in most social contexts, leads to charisma. It leads to attention.
So one of the things that you need to begin to cultivate in your life is this sense of outrageousness.
[50:01]
This starts with playful. When you go out on a date. Don’t go out with the objective of getting laid.
Female student: Hello!
{laughter from all the agreeing women}
David: And here’s why. Here’s the strategy. (guys) When you take sex off the table.
And you’re playful and you follow the protocols that I’m going to teach you.
They’ll put it back on.
Remember that little information course I told you I created back in 2005.
[50:30]
In 2005, I was voted one of the top ten “pickup and attraction artist” By “seductionlair.com” and the art of approaching.
{they’ve changed their URL, so try this link}
{ http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/index.php?s=David+Van+Arrick }
David: Because…. Well there was lots of reasons.
{class laughs}
But none of it had to do with my ability to actually go out and meet women.
It was actually my ability to attract and cause them to fall deeply in love with me, and make them want to make love to me on the very first night we were out.
[51:00]
OK. It’s not about going out and putting notches in your belt.
There are lots of people out there who will teach you how to go out there and meet a woman.
But can you make her want to stay around? Can you keep her?
Right?
When you match a woman’s “Criterion Values.” When they are experiencing the right mix of emotions with you. They’ll decide.
Remember, most of the time, as much as we’d like to think that we’re alpha this and alpha that,
[52:33]
60% of all attractions, 60% of all meetups or approaches, are initiated by women.
Probably didn’t know that did you.
“I thought I was the one picking up.” NO.
You see they are very sneaky about it. An entire woman’s life is built on subtlety. Which is where the problem starts.
You see men and women both have issues about approaching.
[52:01]
But they are very different. You see for a woman…. Guys you need to understand this. A woman wants you to come and talk to her.
She does. She really does.
The problem is that she’s afraid that she’s going to get somebody who’s going to come up and talk to her, that she can’t get away from.
{the ladies are all laughing}
Why?
Because we (men) are dumb!
{the ladies are laughing harder}
[52:30]
What do I mean by that? Very simple….. Now ladies… You need to understand how the other gender thinks.
I love when I have coed workshops because I say something and the women laugh and the men are like, “HUH, what?”
I say something and the men laugh and the women are like, “HUH?”
You’re both projecting your world maps onto the other gender, and making them wrong because they’re doing it their way.
You need to understand how to translate.
[53:00]
OK? You both want the same thing. In fact guys, women want sex more than you do.
Female student: yes we do.
{whole class breaks up into laughter}
David: AMEN. He’s speaking our song! Can I have an AMEN brothers and sisters.
Student: AMEN
Yes. But we have a different meetup for that shit though.
{the whole class is still laughing}
David: I found the reptile brain again. Yeah!
Ok. Here’s the thing. Guys… See if this resonates with you.
[53:31]
You see a woman somewhere ….. You think…”She’s cute.”
“I’m going to go talk to her.”
{David is getting himself ready to go talk to a cute woman, checks his clothes, checks his breath, screws up his courage and…}
{heads over to her … in slow motion, … like the six million dollar man}
{the whole class is laughing}
“Aw fuck, she’s probably not interested anyway.”
{turns and goes another direction}
OK? What happened? We see someone that is attractive to us.
[54:00]
Now. Remember I said there is this thing called hypnosis. Or “Breast-nosis”
An attractive woman will throw a man into an altered state of consciousness, {snap} Like that.
OK? Women, also a little bit more control. You got to know what to look for. Because their art is subtle, yours ain’t.
That’s the problem. Because you are looking for them to give you the cues that you would give if you were turned on by somebody.
OK?
[54:30]
You’re looking for them to let you know, one way or another, if they are attracted or not, the way you would let somebody know, if you were attracted or not.
The problem ladies is your shits too subtle. You see you have very advanced…. The average woman has very advanced social skills. Social awareness.
When a bunch of women are hanging out and it’s time for the conversation to end… they all know it.
[55:00]
{the ladies are laughing because he is right}
{the men are confused}
David: The guys are going….”What the fuck, I’m alone.”
{ladies are laughing louder}
Because they (the men) didn’t get it.
Ladies… you don’t realize that they can’t perceive what you’re sending. Only women can see what you’re sending.
Which is why they never leave.
Because you are not given the training on how to extricate yourself from an interaction that’s going south.
You have these subtle things that the women do.
[55:30]
Then you have this big gap. Then you have “BITCH.”
Which is usually what the guys perceive. Which is what the guy winds up with. Because they didn’t get everything out.
From your perspective, you nailed him with everything but the kitchen sink. And now you got to rip out the plumbing to get him to leave.
Or pretend to be interested so he’ll give you his phone number and you can get away.
Right? So your social remediation has to be in developing
[56:01]
A series of less subtle cues, that’s lets them know the interaction is not going in the direction that they would hope.
Or… distracts them or deters them, in a way that saves their self esteem.
You see that’s the problem.
Most ladies I know, don’t want to be a bitch. They don’t want to be the asshole.
But we don’t give them much choice.
[56:30]
Because we don’t pick up the signals. So it’s partially their fault.
But guys, their fault. But its not your fault. Because your parents can’t teach you what they don’t know.
Right? And there is a couple of really cool… Annie Lalla’s probably one of the better female dating coaches, that brings this out.
{Annie must have a fan because somebody keeps whispering yes, over and over, while he is talking about her.}
And she talks about different things that you can say.
[57:00]
At different levels of the interaction, depending on how socially aware and adept, the person you’re dealing with is.
But that’s the biggest fear guys. See they do want to meet you.
But they are afraid to meet you.
They are afraid to meet you because they are afraid of getting into an interaction that they can’t get out of.
Make sense?
Doesn’t make sense to us (men) cause we’ll just hit them over the head, right?
Someone’s bothering us, we’ll just punch them in the nose and we’ll go home.
[57:30]
Well their socialization is a little more subtle than that.
Guys, our problem is a little bit different. OK? And by the way, I’m on your side guys.
{the ladies laugh}
I am!
Here’s another problem ladies…. The social skills that you were taught to attract a man… Pretty much guarantee that you’re going to ONLY attract the men who are going to make your life miserable.
You know why?
She’s nodding, because she’s been to my workshops.
[58:00]
You see, by and large, we’re told, or we’re taught these things called “the rules.”
Right?
We’re taught don’t make eye contact with people you’re attracted to.
Only make eye contact with you’re not.
Right? Play hard to get.
The problem is that we don’t really understand what that means.
Playing hard to get does NOT mean unapproachable.
And here’s why that is important.
[58:30]
How many ladies here want a guy who is, all the heroic things they think about. .. But is also respecting of your boundaries.
{show of hands}
Right?
How many people here are approached by people who just don’t give a shit.
{chuckles ripple through the class}
That’s what happens when you create that “hard to get” “unapproachable” energy.
All the men who actually would respect your boundaries… won’t approach you.
Because that’s what you are telling them.
[59:00]
But the ones that don’t care… the “pickup artist” … the ones who are trying to be alpha… the sociopaths… The narcissist.
Oh they’ll come on to you like gangbusters. Cause they don’t care.
OK?
These are not my words. These are what the female “dating coaches” are teaching.
OK? I don’t make the rules…. I just report them. I steal them from everyone.
[59:34]
{laughter}
OK? So.. The question becomes how do we bridge this gap.
OK. Guys realize, she wants you to come talk to her. But we got to learn to pay attention.
We’ve got to learn “How they think” … so we can put ourselves in their place… long enough to know, “what to do” when.
[1:00:00]
Ladies…. Same thing. Sixty percent (60%) of approaches are initiated by women.
Ninety percent (90%) of men never realize it.
You know why?
Because a woman doesn’t walk up to you and …{flashes her breasts at a man} {laughter}
And a weird part is… if a woman did that to most of us guys… we would go… “I wonder what she meant by that?”
{roaring laughter}
[1:00:30]
But what a woman will do is … she will give you an opportunity to engage … she will give you an opportunity to approach.
Sitting at your favorite books store, reading your favorite “Popular Mechanics” or “Sports Illustrated” the bikini model.
Not that I do that.
That was the test… you missed it.
And what will happen is… you’ll be standing there, reading your shit. Shit being a technical term.
[1:01:00]
Secret Hypnotic Influence Technique.
And this woman is just going to go {subtlely walk by} ….. Strike one …
{the ladies are chuckling and laughing because they have done this before.}
{looks over at him to see if he is looking} …. Strike two.
{walks near to him and says} Pardon me.
…. Strike three.
{holds the L for Loser up to her head and walks away}
Him: “yeah, miss Nancy.”
[1:01:30]
Guys, you’re on the play ground, you’re five years old.
You’re over here playing kick ball with your friends.
Gaggle of girlies over here. Doing weird things. Hopscotch.
Playing dress up, whatever.
And “little Suzie” goes,
{She gets up, marches over to where the boys are playing… taps him on the shoulder…. Says … “Boys are icky” … then kicks him in the shin… and walks away.}
[1:02:01]
{ the women are laughing}
David: And she leaves.
Our hapless hero goes…. “OW…. She must hate me.”
{the women are laughing even louder, cause they know it’s true}
David; She walked a hundred yards.
Across the playground.
To tap you on the shoulder.
Look you in the eye.
Kick you in the shin.
And say, “Boys are Icky.”
[1:02:29]
Guys…. Have you ever been in a room with a woman who really didn’t like you?
Have you ever noticed that the room gets really cold?
And it feels like where ever she’s standing, there’s like a vacuum there?
Like you could be standing here. She’s standing here. This woman you don’t like. And you can feel…. {sucking sound}
This emptiness there.
[1:03:00]
Right?
Here’s what you need to know.
WOMEN DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE MEN THEY DO NOT LIKE.
They will find a way either, physically, … metaphorically, … to remove you from their environment.
{all the women laugh and agree}
“Oh my god, he read the manual.”
[1:03:29]
It took me a little while to figure that out.
About a year ago… no.
Any time you get attention from a woman, more often than not, it’s a test.
I call it “The shot across the bow.”
She’s testing to see if you’re going to man-up and play.
If you man-up and play, the game is on.
[1:04:00]
You want to see what I’m talking about… Look at any television show on the planet from “Castle” to “Moonlighting.”
That bickering you see going back an forth, That’s called DRAMA!
Who watches those shows? {women}
Why do you think they watch those shows?
DRAMA! The emotional spike. The ups and downs, the playfulness.
[1:04:29]
This is where “IDENTITY” comes in, because we don’t know at four and seven, and eight years old, what the hell we don’t know.
One of two things happens when Little Suzie, does this.
{marches over to where the boys are playing… taps him on the shoulder…. Says … “Boys are icky” … then kicks him in the shin}
The average person says, “I must really suck.”
The natural says…. “Well girls suck too.”
And now it’s on. {the fight is on}
Guess who gets to go to the Prom?
[1:05:00]
One of the funniest examples of this…
And I have been practicing this for myself for a number of years,
I was out with some friends,… out in, … I think it was Ontario California.
And we went into a mall. I walk in… and I’m dressed as a pirate, by the way… because I do weird things like that.
Give me some time and I’ll tell all about my adventures of “Capt Jack, the acupuncturist.”
[1:05:30]
It’s really quite fun.
But I walk in… and this woman who is behind the counter… cute girl, but she led off with some cocky assed remark.
She made some weird statement. You know. Something Snarky. Right?
Now the average guy would say, “bitch”
But my twisted brains says, “Ooo, she wants to play!”
{now all the women are laughing really loudly}
Cause she does!
[1:06:00]
Cause she does.
There’s that word again….. “PLAY”
“Flirting for fun and profit.” It’s a workshop we do here.
It’s all about…. Does flirting make you feel good? Even if nothing happens from it.
All the women: YES
David: Fucking be that person man. Flirts get a lot of shit, for free.
Because they make people feel good about them. Either because of the way that person is, or how that person feels, that they flirted with.
[1:06:30]
Now the other problem you’ve got to understand about the ladies
Is just like on “match.com” when they read your email,
That’s the fiftieth email that said exactly the same fricking thing, that they’ve heard for the last six months.
Well guess what? Even a woman who on the attractiveness scale is a three or four ( 3 or 4) gets approached an unreasonable amount of times.
Hell, zeros get approach an unreasonable amount of times.
Compared to the average guy.
Now you guys are actually a lot uglier than you realize.
[1:07:01]
But a lot more attractive than you can begin to imagine. Because you can’t calibrate attraction.
You can’t tell if a woman is into you unless she does go… {flashes her breasts}
We’re going to work on that. First of all, both genders. Anytime that you look at somebody and they’re not stoned …
You see their pupils go “boing” {get large} they are in to you.
Can’t hide it.
OK?
And there is all kinds of good science behind it.
[1:07:30]
The bigger their pupils get… The more attracted (to you) they’ve become. Or are becoming.
You say something and their pupils go “doink” {get really small}
You better start back pedaling real fast for whatever just came out of your mouth.
Alright? You can’t hide that.
Body Orientation
Head tilts
Protruding lower lips.
All indicators of attraction.
OK? Different stages of attraction.
But there is bigger pictures. There is bigger signs, that we can start to look for.
[1:08:00]
And this is after we have actually initiated actually approaching.
One of the things we got to get. We got to get playful. We got to realize that when … and you can take this to the bank. OK?
When a woman does not want your attention, she will find a way to avoid it.
Period.
Ladies have the opposite problem. They can’t stop having attention from people they don’t want attention from.
Because largely the cues that you ladies were taught don’t attract the kind of men you want…
[1:08:30]
OK? But so both sides are dealing with some interesting issues.
But if we were to put ourselves in the other genders shoes for just a moment. We could begin to build ways to cross that divide.
I can’t do it in a two hour lecture. I can’t do it in a two hour workshop.
But I can begin to make you aware. I can begin to give you opportunities.
I’m going to take you as far as I can tonight. In the time that we have. I’ll show you where to go for more.
To that extent, we’re going to take a seven minute break.
[1:09:00]
So everybody can use the restroom, drink lots of coffee, eat lots of chocolate.
But a couple of things. I have a free gift tonight for anybody, …. I didn’t give you my pedigree so one of the things I need you to understand is, that we are going to talk about identity tonight and the seven stages of attraction.
And how to recognize it. So that’s the biggest stumbling block I see.
My normal rates are…. I deal with everything from how to lose weight, which is not a big draw in my clinic.
[1:09:30]
But I do everything from OCD’s to depression, trauma, success and persuasion coaching.
My specialty in my clinic in Solana Beach is dealing with physiological illness that has as it root, deep repressed emotion.
I don’t get weird things like smoking cessation and weight loss.
I get all the really cool stuff, like hysterical paralysis. I have a few people in here who have actually been through some of my very very rapid change processes.
You can talk to John. You can talk to what’s her name, Cynthia.
A few other people.
But for everybody here tonight.
[1:10:00]
As my gift for you coming out and being in this very hot room,
Give you guys a big round of applause for coming out here tonight. Cause I’m grateful for all of you.
Everyone of you tonight gets a free thirty (30) minute consultation with me.
Maybe you just want to talk and pick my brain for thirty minutes or maybe you have some stuff that you think I could help you with…
OK? I’ve helped with everything from Asperger’s to social phobias to rape trauma, PTSD, and all points in between.
If you’ve got something that’s blocking you.
Something that’s holding you back.
[1:10:30]
I can probably help you. I don’t promise to fix your problem. But I do promise to find out IF the possibility exists if what I do, is a fit for you.
So everybody gets a free thirty minute consultation. All you got to do is see Candy, my lovely office manager. And my daughter Traci, who’s … hiding somewhere.
And they will get you scheduled. Because we are pretty booked.
But they will get you on the schedule. There is no obligation.
This is my way of saying thank you for coming out here tonight.
We also have a three day workshop.
[1:11:00]
That I’ll talk about later.
On going into the full system of attraction, relating and mating, that I’m pulling bits and pieces from.
Cynthia has been through it. I don’s see anybody else here who has been through it.
Did you come to “Real World Romance?” Or did you just come to the body language stuff?
Student: Just the body language stuff.
David: Body Language, OK.
So there are a few people here, who have been to some of my workshops.
Feel free to pick their brains. Let’s take a seven minute break and come back and I’m going to get into the seven stages of romantic body language.
END OF VIDEO [1:11:27]
CONTINUED IN PART TWO
