Sexual Myth # 1 Women Just Don’t Want Sex
This one is incredibly prevalent. It has a lot of nasty and ugly variations. Such as:
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this and/or read it. I just shake my head whenever I hear people say
· “Women don’t enjoy sex.”
· “Women have no sex drive.”
· “Women only trade sex to get a guy or get married.”
Perhaps the worst one I hear is,
“Women only trade sex to get ____. (fill in the topic of your choice…money-status-security, etc.)
I’ve heard them, you’ve probably heard them. For the most part they are simply NOT true.
Now I am not saying that there aren’t “gold diggers” and Social Climbers In the world. That would be naïve to say the least. But to paint ALL women with the same brush is equally naïve and actually damaging your prospects for a happy healthy sexual and romantic relationship.
Most guys default to saying or believing things like this most often when they lack the skills to get and keep the woman (or women) they want. And the reason most guys CAN’T keep a woman is that they simply
A. Don’t Know How To Get Women To Actually Want to Have Sex With them OR
B. Lack the Skills To Give Her The Kind of Sexual Pleasure that Would Keep Her Happy And Loyal To Him.
Some Guys just can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that they lack either skills, or desire to become better lovers and so they resort to the “sour grapes” rationalization that women don’t want, don’t like, or only use sex to get something from them.
But the real truth is that… women really do want to have sex! Most women want sex as often as possible as long as it’s with the right partner.
Women LOVE Sex – They love it, but only when they are comfortable with a man they trust and a man who respects them.
Now just to keep things clear, the fact that women love sex does NOT make them “sluts”, “easy”, or in way promiscuous.
Nay, Nay, Nay
Far from it, It tends to makes them extremely selective in who they choose as a sex partner.
So why do most men think women don’t want sex or use it as a tool for manipulation.
Well, actually it’s NOT their fault. I blame social conditioning.
Think about it, it was social conditioning that had us
A. believe that women have to be talked into having sex, or
B. that it’s a chore that she performs, or
C. that it’s an obligation.
That’s all BS.
Women love sex. Women actually want to have sex. It’s not a reward for good behavior; they love it. They want to have good sex. Please note, I said GOOD Sex. In fact if you just look carefully you’ll find evidence of women’s insatiable lust for sexual pleasure, fantasy and romance everywhere you look.
You can actually find it in women’s fantasy books.
Women’s fantasies are far more detailed and erotic than any guy can come up with.
You can check a book out called ‘My Secret Garden’ by Nancy Friday. Or” 50 Shades of Grey” Check out the Romance and Erotica Sections at your local book store. You’ll find it caters almost exclusively to Women. Why would someone who “hates” sex spend so much time and money thinking about it, reading about and, dare I say… Fantasizing about it.
Let your eyes be opened grasshopper.
The simple truth is… Women are actually more sexual than men.
But don’t take my word for it. Hear it from women…
Myth # 2: Women Fake Orgasms Because Some Women Just Can’t Have Orgasms During Sexual Intercourse
Statistics say that approximately only 30% of women have “vaginal” orgasms during intercourse (“The Hite Report” Page 134).
The sad fact is that women DO fake orgasms. In fact most women have faked orgasms (and still do) at some point during their sexual lives. But why do women fake orgasms and are some women simply not capable of having an orgasm at all during sex?
· Many women fake orgasms just so their man will stop, or
· so as not to bruise his ego. Most women know when they are not going to have an orgasm, so she fakes her orgasm so her man will feel like he’s succeeded in satisfying her And…
Unfortunately the belief that some women can’t have orgasms has also infected women and caused them to believe the same erroneous belief that only some women are blessed with the ability to have orgasms.
This is simply not the case.
Just because a woman has never HAD an orgasm does not mean she can’t have one.
In fact my research and field experience shows me exactly the opposite. But the very fact that a woman accepts the belief that she can’t have an orgasm already pre-disposes her to NOT having one.
Some men even use this statement as an “excuse” for their failure when trying to give their woman an orgasm. You’re not guilty of that are You?
Some people would like you to believe that an inability to have an orgasm is due to some physiological deficiency or lack of “clitoral erectile tissue.” More clitoral tissue is NOT necessarily better than less. It’s what you do with it that makes the magic.
It is just another lie that keeps people from enjoying the full potential of their sexuality.
And now for the truth:
The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as some women being destined or pre-disposed to having vaginal orgasms, and some not. All women with a working vagina and a brain. is perfectly capable have vaginal orgasms.
Most reasons why some women not having vaginal orgasms little to do with anatomy. They are invented reasons, such as chemical, emotional, or self-consciousness.
The primary reasons most women are not having orgasms has very little to do with anatomy, genetics or otherwise. The most common reasons for anorgasmia in women are:
· Chemical Issues such as Side Effects from prescription drugs
o The most common culprit being anti-depressants
· Emotional Issues such as
o Sexual abuse
o Abandonment issues
o Trust issues
o Low self-esteem/self-worth
o Guilt
§ Belief sex is bad
§ Women shouldn’t or are not supposed to enjoy it
o Control issues (unable to relax and let go)
o Self-consciousness – body image issues etc.
o Ignorance
The whole orgasm bugaboo also includes another common “myth” that…
"Women Can Only Have Clitoral Orgasms"
This lie continues primarily because the only type of orgasm women experience tends to be pre-dominantly orgasms induced via clitoral stimulation. This tends to cause both men and women to believe that a woman can only have an orgasm when her clitoris is stimulated.
Since most forms of sexual experimentation tend to focus on the clitoris as the primary source of erotic pleasure, most experimentation tends to stop at clitoral and most women have never made any attempts on their own to experiment with vaginal stimulation.
Add to this fact that the vast majority of men have no clue about how to successfully awaken, stimulate and activate a woman’s vagina and you have a darn near perfect recipe for failure to reach vaginal orgasm.
Thus nobody makes the effort to awaken a woman’s vagina.
Over the years I have thousands of clients how to give woman vaginal orgasms. Now most of them can give their women vaginal orgasms in intercourse almost every time.
But David…Aren’t Vaginal Orgasms Really Just Clitoral Orgasms?
Some sexologists will tell you that intercourse causes stimulation of the wings of the clitoris leading to indirect stimulation of the glans of the clitoris. That’s all well and good but then how do they explain anal orgasms, or even nipple orgasms?
Clearing something else is going on here.
In addition, some sex experts also say that the vagina does not have sensitive nerve endings.
Truth be told, a woman’s vagina has many highly responsive areas of sensual pleasure.
In fact, using just a finger or two, you can give a woman her very first vaginal orgasm.
It all goes back to what you know and what you believe. Get the right training, the right teacher, one who can show you how things really work so that you can take on solid beliefs that empower you to be the best lover you can be and I guarantee your woman will be enjoying not only vaginal orgasms easily, you’ll both also be on the fast track to the most exciting and erotic sexual adventures of your life.
Myth # 3: Nice Girls Don’t Do That.
This big fat juicy lie has probably killed more relationships and health sexual expression than almost any other. Why? Because it kills sexual excitement and adventure almost before it can even start.
“Nice girls don’t do that.”
Now how many times have you heard it, been told it or maybe even thought that yourself?
Other variations of this famous sex-killer include…
· “Nice girls won’t do the “kinky” stuff; they just want to “make love”. They don’t want to have really wild no-holds-bared, Bed-Soaking, Sheet-ripping sex.”
· Dirty Talk Turns Offends Nice Girls. Truth – Women Love Dirty Talk! This is one of the biggest barriers keeping guys from giving women the kind of erotic pleasure they really want.
· What if she’s from a very religious family? I can tell you from experience that preacher’s daughters are the second kinkiest lovers out there, (I’ll let you guess what class of woman comes in first place.")
You have to remember, sex does not take place in a vacuum. The context in which sexual relations occur dramatically affects the kind of sexual expressiveness and responsiveness a woman enjoys. For deeply religious woman completely wild sex is perfectly acceptable within the parameters of a religiously sanctioned relationship.
Another variation: "You Can’t Get a Nice Girl To Be Slutty In The Bedroom". WRONG!
The fact is most “nice girls” are lusting for an excuse to engage in all sorts of “taboo” behavior that they’ve been reading, fantasizing and being told NOT To Do all their lives.
But here’s the catch, most women won’t do the kinky stuff unless you are Man Enough To Lead Her into.
In The real world, nice girls love wild sex as much as or even more so than the bad girls.
Women want to get slutty but she does not want to be a slut or be labeled a slut. As a rule your woman only wants to be a slut for you. But You have to be the kind of man who can allow her the level of comfort, trust and pleasure that allows her to throw off her sexual shackles and her anti-slut armor.
And in order to do that, You have to be man enough to lead her, because the rules of society and propriety have taught her that she cannot initiate being slutty, because doing so would define her as a slut.
She is only willing to be wildly sexy with a man who can lead her to being that way. And usually only inside the context of a relationship behind closed doors where the rest of the world would never know anything about it.
With that in mind let’s hear it from the women…
Myth # 4: Women Don’t Want To Be Dominated
Most men are way “Too Nice” They labor under the illusion that women only want sweet, gentle tender lovemaking.
WRONG!
This may come as a surprise to you but the overwhelming majority of women are “sexually submissive” And by sexually submissive what I mean is that they WANT their man to be DOMINANT in the bedroom. In fact many times they want their man to get downright NAUGHT Y AND NASTY with them. (provided of course they can deliver orgasms the way she wants them)
You see one of the biggest frustrations for men with regard to women and sex is this.
Most women are sexual paradoxes.
During the day, a woman wants to be appreciated by the people in her life. She wants to be seen and regarded as being proper and innocent, but at night, in the privacy of her bedroom, with a man that she trusts and loves, she wants to be ruthlessly sexual.
During the day, she has to be in control of her life and her destiny, but at night, in the bedroom, she wants to let go, be submissive to her man, to let him take control of her and bring her to pleasure over and over again.
As a rule, no one likes to be told what to do. Especially women, except within the context of sexuality with her man, and in that context a woman can and often will respond very powerfully to being told exactly what to do. She wants you to direct her to demonstrate your sexual power and confidence.
It’s this demonstration of sexual power and confidence that causes her to let go of her inhibitions and become sexually hyper-responsive to you.
During the week, she is very responsible, but on the weekends with her man, in the context of sexuality, she wants to be totally without responsibility.
Men hesitate to be dominant in the bedroom because they think it would disrespect the woman. Instead, you must respect her wishes to be dominated in the bedroom.
Most men hesitate to be dominant in the bedroom because they think this is someone going to offend or disrespect his woman, it usually works exactly the opposite. The more you are dominant with her the more you respect her wishes because, with very few exceptions, she wants and NEEDs you to be dominant in the bedroom.
Being dominant in the right way causes every sexual encounter with you to become another sexual adventure for her. It gives her the freedom to let go to fully experience the pleasure you have to give her and she becomes quite literally obsessed with returning that same level of pleasure to you.
In fact playing the dominant bad boy causes women to quite literally become addicted to the kind of sexual and erotic pleasure only you can offer her.
Myth # 5: Having a lot of sexual experience means you are good in bed.
Many men think that they have to have a lot of partners in order to be good at sex. In their minds many partners equals experience equals being good at love making.
Therefore many times when a man lacks sexual experience he feels intimidated when being with a woman for the first time.
I can tell you that just because a man has had many partners does NOT make him a good lover. In fact, I know many “experienced” men who have horrible reputations as a lover.
Why? Because they confuse quantity for quality.
Many women divorce their experienced husbands because they are lousy lovers.
Many men confuse the ability to get a woman into bed with the ability to satisfy a woman in bed.
They are two very different skill sets.
Many so-called ladies men are lousy to mediocre lovers at best. It is a huge complaint of many, if not most, women.
So experience does not make for being a good lover what does?
Being a good lover is all about paying attention, having the correct knowledge and beliefs.
Even a virgin can be a great lover right away if he has the three magic ingredients.
Being a great lover has nothing to do with experience so much as it is the ability to pay attention to your partner, the correct tools and techniques and the beliefs and attitudes that drive your sexual powers.
Myth # 6: Does Size Really Matter… ( The answer might shock you)
Men are obsessed with the size of their ‘tool’. This is a question that you already have your mind made up on.
I get emails on this topic every single day. The same question over and over again in as many languages as there are men to write them in.
You see whether you live On Main Street USA, The United Kingdom, Russia or even South Africa.
One thing holds true.
Men everywhere are obsessed with the size of their “manhood” Men in every country are worried that the size of their penis is not enough to satisfy a woman. So let me answer the age old question everyone asks me.
Does Size Matter? The answer is a resounding Yes.
You see while the actual physical size of your penis matters very little whe it comes to giving women orgasms, clitoral, vaginal or otherwise
If you think the size of your penis matters, or you think size doesn’t matter, you’re right.
If you think size matters, then your sexual power and confidence is defined by your beliefs about your size.
But if you want to be sexually powerful, keep reading…
Here’s the reality…
Female Vaginal Orgasms Are NOT Determined By Size.
If your woman Is capable of vaginal orgasms than even a finger would give her orgasms
If a woman is NOT vaginally orgasmic, NOTHING would do it, no matter how big you are.
If your woman is NOT capable of vaginal orgasms than it wouldn’t matter HOW big your manhood actually is. You still wouldn’t be able to give her orgasms.
The most powerful and effective way to give women orgasms is through combination of using your fingers combined with a special technique called the “secret twitch”
A man’s size does NOT determine if a woman will, or will not, have a vaginal orgasm in intercourse. And vaginal orgasms in intercourse are what matters.
Size does not determine whether a woman will or will not have a vaginal or clitoral orgasm during intercourse and orgasms are what matters.
Some women ask me why their well-endowed man is not giving her vaginal orgasms in intercourse, but her average sized ex was always giving her vaginal orgasms in intercourse.
Women keep asking me why their Well-endowed” man can’t give her orgasms during intercourse and yet her smaller sized ex-lover could.
Some women “blessed” with well-endowed ex-lovers who could never give them orgasms are now having their worlds rocked by guys who’s size is only average.
And there are many married women who ask me what they can do because their well-endowed husband never gives her orgasms.
The truth about sex for women is that the most important part of a woman’s sexual experience is almost entirely mental.
What she believes and feels emotional determines how her body performs sexually. There has never been a case where a woman could only have vaginal orgasms with large men but could not achieve orgasms with average men.
If you understand the sexual psychology of women you can sexually arouse her and using just your middle finger you can blow her mind with one amazing orgasm after another.
Women on my free newsletter list write me all the time and ask me "Where can I meet a man with skills like yours! A Man who can do for me what you write about.
"They never ask where they can meet a guy with a bigger tool.”
Side note: If a woman ever tells you that she will only have sex with a “well-endowed man” chances are pretty good she’s not having orgasms with men in general (just saying) An alarming number of women NEVER reach orgasm during intercourse with a partner, and it has nothing to do with size.
So word of wise to the men out there, You are much better served learning about the secret sexual psychology of women and how to use it to create maximum sexual responses in your woman than you will ever be worrying about the size of your penis.
Myth # 7: Women Wield all The Power In Relationships
It’s a common to hear men complain that a woman can simply walk into any bar and within a few minutes take home nearly any man in it. This leads men to believe that women have all the sexual power. That ‘they” are the ones who have the most freedom, power and choice when it comes to dating, mating and relating.
If you are judging your attractiveness, sexual power and self-worth by how quickly you can attract a mate and comparing yourself to women, you are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.
A man’s sexual power comes from his ability to “satisfy” a woman beyond anything she’s ever known.
Men tend to look at the world from the perspective of "who can get more sex more often?" But women look at the question "who can get more sexual fulfillment more often?"
Think about it like this…
A starving man cares more about how much food he can get quickly. He doesn’t really concern himself about whether or not its gourmet, fast food or junk food. All he really cares about is that it satisfies his immediate primal drive – hunger.
But, think for a moment about a man (or woman) that has access to an abundant supply of food, everywhere he or she goes there are endless places to eat, sample and try new things.
But because there are now so many choices the question of quality now becomes the most important factor. So what happens? Are you still worried about being hungry, or more concerned with making sure the meal you have fulfills and gives you maximum satisfaction?
So you start looking at who has the best food, the best atmosphere, the best service, which restaurant makes you feel special, appreciated, etc.
You start focusing on the quality of what you are getting and how fulfilling it is rather than how quickly you can fill your stomach.
Make sense?
Sexually speaking this is no different than a woman’s experience when seeking a romantic or sexual partner. She’s surrounded by guys looking to sleep with her, she has lots of choices but she wants a quality lover, someone who can make feel the things she craves and fantasizes about. She doesn’t really care about “average or less than average sex” She wants a master.
So you see it’s not that women don’t care about sex; they care about sex very much. In fact, they just want really good sex, they want gourmet sex and all most women ever get is fast food or junk food sex. For women, really good sex seems so elusive, so hard to find.
Most women are very frustrated that they do not have orgasms during sex. But how many men are frustrated that they do not have orgasms in sex? Not many. Reality points to the fact that women have all the frustration.
So ask yourself this, If women truly have all the power, then why are there so many women feeling frustrated and unfulfilled?
Women lust to be with a man who can give her lasting fulfillment.
But the reality of the situation is that most women can’t find a man who can deliver what she really wants. Metaphorically speaking she’s literally surrounded by water and dying of thirst.
The average woman in spite of all her sexual power to choose sexual partners – Feels Powerless;
women search and search and search and never seem to be able to find the kind of lover that can give them what they really want most – fulfillment.
Women do not believe they are powerful just because they could get laid in five minutes.
For them, there is no power in that. It is not even considered. It means nothing to her.
Women do not believe they have any real power to get what they want because most women can’t find a man who can give them what they are looking for. A man who will take her on one romantic sexual adventure after another.
What she really wants is to be with a romantic hero, a man who is an exciting lover, a man who will lead her do things she’s always wanted to do but was too afraid or inhibited to express.
She wants to be with a man who’s going to bring out that ruthlessly expressive animalistic natural sexual creature in her, a man who she can totally surrender to and be swept away by.
She wants man who can help bring out the primal, animalistic passionate sexual creature she’s kept locked away inside of her; she wants to be swept away, to surrender herself completely to her man knowing that she’s not only safe, but free to feel all the feelings and experiences she’s only fantasized about.
The kind of man who can do what I have described is the true prize, the true sexual adventure and romantic hero every woman lust for and would eagerly sacrifice just about everything to be with. Only with this kind of a man can she get what she really needs.
It’s this kind of man who has true sexual power, who will never lack for eager willing partners, who will enjoy endless loyalty and ever increasing levels of sexual expressiveness and gratitude from his woman.
Because a truly fulfilled woman will do anything and everything you want to make sure that you receive the same kind of “fulfillment’ you have given her. As one of my Mentors Mark Cunningham used to say.
If you want your woman to be more of a woman, than you have to become more of a man.
Give your woman the best sex humanly possible for her and you’ll enjoy more fun, freedom and sexual pleasure than you can possibly imagine.